I DID IT!
Remember when you wanted what you currently have?
That’s something no one really thinks about, right? Cherishing all the small victories and embracing all the little things that prove how much we’ve grown – a wild concept to think about.
Some time ago I came across the above sentence. At first it hit me, and then my mind went “oh, right” as if someone has just gave me a mental slap to wake me up from the foggy slumber. The past, the only-a-couple-months-ago past felt like it’s been left so far behind that no one really remembers it anymore. I don’t know how about you, but sometimes I get so caught up in the present, that I forget the past, or focus so much on the future, that the present is not presentanymore. So, do you remember when you wanted what you currently have? Do I remember? Well, true, there are small reminders everywhere, all around, at all times. It might be the place you’re living at at the moment, it could be all the things you own that you’ve never had before, it’s the way you look and feel, it’s the photos, people and memories you’ve surrounded yourself with since the last “I wish… but I doubt it’ll ever happen”.
But do you remember?
I realised something a couple of days ago, right after this sentence came across again. It reminded me of all that I’ve been but I’m not anymore, all that I am, and all that that I wasn’t but I have now become. And in this moment of doubt, when I felt like I have nothing and like I was nothing, it really opened my eyes. Gratitude is SOimportant. Even though the gigantic weight of pointlessness was crushing me from inside out and all over beyond, and even though it felt like the more steps I would have taken, the foggier and scarier the forward would be, I decided to stop.
As ridiculous as it sounds, I looked at myself as if I was there with me, I looked up and down and through me, and I said, girl, what the fuck? whilst staring in disbelief at this stupid person who was sat across the bed, crying her eyes out because she felt as if she has lost herself for a tiny little bit. I said, can’t you open your eyes? Can’t you see what you have? Can’t you notice where you are?
She simply forgot. We all do sometimes. That’s what humans do. And even if we do forget more often than not, it does not mean that we are nothing. The achievements we can be proud of, the lessons we’ve been through, the smiles, the tears and butterflies are still there, making us the greatest versions of ourselves, no matter if acknowledged or not. We are whole, with the memory of great things and without, hence why it is so important to remind; to remind your own self about these great things you’d love to brag about if it society was not looking down upon it, to remind your friends and family about why they are the best the way they are, and what personal mountains we have all moved and crushed so far.
And now I realised I couldn’t take a bigger loop around this topic, instead of talking about it straight to the point. Mental health, it is. As some may know, I’m a huge believer in the law of attraction and the power of Universe. So, with that in mind, from time to time I try to remind myself about all the little things that have come my way and changed my life for the better. It’s healthy, people! Time moves on so quickly that it’s really hard to notice the change, or if a positive change comes so suddenly, it’s so easy to get used to it and forget what it was like before – before the goodhas happened… or, if the badwas present for far too longs, it is way too easy to come to a conclusion that the goodexists only in fairy tales.
So try to remember. And to remind. There’s nothing as uplifting as acknowledging how far a person has come. Sometimes, instead of the predictable, simple “it’s going to be okay”, a more unexpected “remember what you’ve been through? Remember what you’ve achieved when facing similar obstacles?” can put a person off track and and make them think “well… you’re right, completely forgot”, and that is where the beautiful things start to happen. Right where the spark of hope is reignited.
It blows my mind to think that only 3 years ago I was in a completely different place. And I would like to talk about it for a little bit to both be able to come back to it in another three years, and read it whenever I feel lost again (or maybe it could be the beacon of faith for somebody else who would need it…?).
Three years ago I wouldn’t even think about dreaming of the place that I’m in right now. Imagine, if you had a chance to talk to your younger self (and I know that most think -20 years when they come along this concept, however I’m thinking 3-5 years back which is the most relevant in my case), and ask them what they imagine their life would be like in 5 years, and then tell them what their lifeactuallyis like, would they believe you? Would they be shocked, or amazed, or stare at you in disbelief, mumbling “but it’s impossible, stop playing with me”?
I know younger me would. If I only travelled 3 years back in time and confess to my younger self, and to my friend and family, that I have somehow managed to study abroad, that I live in Central London on my own (and managed to survive for 3 months so far, yay me) and score the best, most creative job possible at the young age of 22 (at least industry-wise young, I guess?), younger me would just laugh, slap me on the shoulder and be like “bish pls. You deffo can’t do that in 3 years”.
But guess what? I did.
And because it’s so easy to forget, one of the most creative ideas I had (because these are the ones stimulating my brain the most, essentially), was creating the bucket list. Bucket lists are fun, right? I love creating these as they’re fun, not binding at all, they wake your brain up and make it moist with all them creative juices flowing (yes, I am aware that this is the most disgusting poetic comparison I’ve attempted, I’m sorry). I created two bucket lists in 2010 or 2011, I think. I decided to separate them into two categories – life and travel. Self development and achieving set goals and dreams are both very important factors in my life, but so is travelling, hence why I decided to take the challenge of ticking off at least one position of the travel list a year, and at least three off of the life list – right back when I started, I aimed to mark at least one of the list as completed, but what kind of life is that? When I switched to three per year, it’s been much more fun and the positive, motivating pressure was there, so maybe I should spark it up and jump to achieving at least five goals a year this time? Why not, right? Woohoooooo
So, as mentioned, here’s to all the beautiful ways in which I’ve grown over the last three years.
Back in 2009 or 2010 a great polish lifestyle and travel blogger, Michal Maj (thanks for your greatness, master 💕) and his list of dreams inspired me to create my own bucket list, but not only that – after crossing off each goal, he would then write about it or set up a link to document that the said goal has happened. After stumbling upon his blog 9 years ago and finding his bucket list, I decided to create one of my own, as I believe this is such a great way to remind yourself about these little happy things which make life the greatest.
I am updating them both regularly and I will write about the ones which I have crossed off already, linking them whenever possible. Obviously, as you might have assumed already, this list is not to be treated seriously, but to bring smile to my face (and yours of course too), whenever something reminds me to look through that page again. As I haven’t seen much of these lately, but find them very inspiring anyway, and because it’s important to remember, here’s to all the beautiful ways in which I’ve grown over the last three years. Here are the lists of my own – and if you ever create one, please share it with me; I would love to see!
Good luck! x
Also, how do you like the new blog setup? I love it! I finally got a domain and I feel so pro now. Hi big blogger world, here I come! ✨
If you have any suggestions, please let me know here.
I’m so happy ♡